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I'm apparently dead to my father. Awesome.

Fuck the world. I'm going back to bed.

Ch-ch-check it out.

Life. It's busy. Only not really because I'm usually very busy trying to pretend I have nothing to be doing. And then I'm busy when it hits me that I've been living a LIE, and if I want to actually get anything out of my educational experience I'll have to suck it up and write the damn paper.

But today is...I'm not really sure, due to college's violent rape of my circadian rhythms. All I know is that there really isn't anything pressing I should be accomplishing at the moment (wot's sleep?) so I'm spending my time munching on vending machine crap and listening to power ballads of the 1980s (We are young! Heartache to heartache, we stand!). Dude, I wish I could intimidate through choreography. Sadly, I cannot bust a move half as well as Pat Benatar, and my dancing probably inspires a different type of fear.

My room is a hideous mess, and I'm bored all the freaking time, and I miss you guys. You're so faaaar away... Ahem. Okay, I'll stop now.

Things I Wish Would Go Away:

- My headache.
- Sarah Palin.
- 8 AM.
- The mess in my room.
- The need to do homework.
- Sarah Palin.
- John McCain.
- The gnawing emptiness in my chest.
- People who seem to feel they are entitled to stop right in the middle of the fucking sidewalk and have a conversation.
- My incredibly depressing financial situation.
- Did I mention Sarah Palin?

Another semester has begun. Day two and I'm already mad depressed, though that's largely due to the weather - the dregs of Fay. I like rain as long as I don't have to go places in it.


This was really long. My articles have now finished printing, though, so I will go, um...skim. And maybe get some sleep before I have to wake up and be halfway across campus at 8am.

I hope it stops raining.
So, I actually checked my MySpace inbox today for the first time in forever, and oh my lord, there was some really old crap in there. But! I found this survey that Ashley and I did on April 29, 2007, and am posting it for posterity. Our answers may have changed in the past year and a half, but it's still pretty funny - at least, if you have our sense of humor.

No sleep 'til...

Post ten random, weird facts about yourself.

1. I keep a Sharpie in my bag at all times, so that when I'm bored during class I can ink fake tattoos onto myself.
2. I recently threw out my collection of tickets from every single movie I had seen since June 2004.
3. I won't eat tomatoes if they are cooked and/or heated, unless they're peeled and pureed.
4. On several occasions, I've fallen out of the habit of smoking to the point where I could've quit entirely, just to fall back on it again the next time I get nervous.
5. Once I declare something I've written finished, I refuse to go back and read it again, because I will immediately spot a hundred more ways I could improve it.
6. My hair has, at least temporarily, been any color one could conceive at some point, except perhaps chartreuse.
7. I really want another piercing, but I don't think I'd look good with anymore highly visible ones, and the less visible ones tend to be accompanied by too much long-term pain in compromising places for my taste.
8. My attention span seems to last exactly five months: I quit all my jobs after five months, left school after five months, and my last three relationships ended after five months.
9. I have been assigned the nickname "Sunshine" no less than four separate times throughout my life by people who did not know that I had been previously addressed as such.
10. I've tried to read comic books, but there tends to be too much going on on one page and I can't focus on the story.

I hate Wednesdays.

It is not yet 9:30, and I've walked over a mile today; the sun's not even up all the way, and I'm already sweating. I should just be waking up right now - instead, I got up at 7:50. But, I had a meeting with my film professor this morning at fucking 8:40 about my paper topic, and I'm now in a shit mood. Not because of my paper topic, of which he approved wholeheartedly and which I think will be really interesting, but because exactly how much I have to get accomplished in the next seven days or less has just hit me.

I got my second math midterm back. Let's just go with - I passed. Barely. I wasn't really upset, but she handed them back at the beginning of class, and I spent the duration of her lecture calculating what scores I'll need to get on the midterm and the remainder of the homework in order to pass this class with a grade I won't hate myself for. The good news is, it would take a rather epic failure on my part (I'm talking like, around a 35% on the final) in order to drop me to failing.

Kait's To-Do List

1. Math homework assignments #11 (due tonight at 9), #12 (due tomorrow at 9), and #13 (due Friday at 9).
2. Email film professor my thesis/outline.
3. Read 4 chapters (approx. 100 pages) and a 22-page essay for film before next week.
4. Somehow find the time to re-watch (or otherwise review) the following movies: Chinatown, The Long Goodbye, Body Heat, Blade Runner, Blood Simple, The Usual Suspects, L.A. Confidential, and Memento. (Cumulatively, that's 15 and a half hours of film time.)
5. Watch an example of "classic noir" for comparison purposes - part of topic research.
6. The additional research, planning, and actual writing that comes with a fifteen-page paper due in exactly one week and two hours.
7. Performing the miracle of getting above a 70% on my Statistics final, thus securing myself a disgustingly mediocre but solid C in the course, and four GER credits.
8. At some point find the time to eat, sleep, and shower in the next week.

...I am slightly overwhelmed, and really wishing I was still in bed.

Another Friday!

Week Two of Summer Session

Monday: okay; slightly less stressed.
Tuesday: mildly stressed.
Wednesday: completely off my game; severely depressed.
Thursday: really good, actually. :)
Friday: completely exhausted.

Average hours of sleep per night: 4
Cigarettes: around 20-25
Cumulative hours spent on math homework: 30 or so

Well. This week's overall mood was less stressful, but generally more down. The reduced stress is due to the fact that my math professor gave us an extra 24 hours to do each day's homework. Wednesday I got my midterm back in that class - I passed, but didn't do as well as I'd have liked, considering the amount of effort I put into it - hence, the extreme depression. I can't take any credit for Thursday's mood; I'm just incredibly thankful that I have insomniac friends who are willing to come cheer me up at midnight when I'm a complete mess.

So this weekend will be spent sleeping (yay!) and cramming for yet another math exam on Monday. Everybody I know here is going out of town this weekend, and so it'll just be me and Jerry (my ipod) and statistical analysis for the next two days. Fun times. Next week is my last full week here; I've got 8 more days of classes (only 5 more of math!) and then I'm blowing this popsicle stand! But right now...*yawn* It's time for a nap.

P.S. Guess who turns 21 (finally) in 29 days!

*sigh*

Week One of Summer Session

Monday: stressed.
Tuesday: very stressed.
Wednesday: stressed to hysterical.
Thursday: stressed, but generally mellow.
Friday: exhausted; stressed to frustrated to pissed-off to bored.

Average hours of sleep per night: 5
Cigarettes: >30
Cumulative hours spent on math homework: >35

My hair is turning grey, and my clothes are suddenly all too big for me, and I'm seeing numbers when I close my eyes, and I would be dying a slow death, except there are several factors which would be causing my body's gradual decay, so I am, in fact, dying a considerably faster death.